2000-2001 SURVEY<< BACK

Long and curled up like a huge boa constrictor filling up the whole toilet. I don't know how I ever shit that damn much. I must've lost 50 pounds in one giant shit.

When I had chinese food early in the day. When I finally got around to shitting it out, I immediately felt hungry again. Aah, the mysteries of chinese food.

when i finished taking a shit the toilet couldn't flush in school and come on now there were a lot of people waiting in line so i stuck my hand in the toilet and grabbed it out and put it in the pad dipenser.

When I Ate Like 3 bags of cheese popcorn and my crap was green and when I wiped i could see corn shells and it smelled like popcorn

One time i went to McDonalds and i had diarrhea and the only thing that came out was green sesame seeds and water.

I took a shit one time that hadto be broken up with a friggin tree branch in order for it to go down the toilet. top THAT!!!!

I poop four times a day.

I had a bad diarrhea one day and i was in school so i didn't want to take a crap coz all the stalls in school were dirty. Anyway, because i was afraid to catch any disease from the toilets in school, I decided to take capsules of Immodium. If you do not know what Immodium is, it is a drug that you take to make wet shit hard again. After I drank the capsules, I felt better again not knowing that I just got OD'd on the drug. What happened was that I wasn't able to take a crap for 1 and a half weeks because the capsules turned my shit into stone. Because this was getting too painful for my asshole, I decided to go to the doctor to get advice. I didn't just get advice, I also had the doctor slicing my butthole open with a scalpel to let the damn rock hard piece of shit out of my ass. Oucccch!!!!!!!

My poop was blue and green with yellow spots.

This one summer i was at a party and i bet someone 100 bucks that i could shit on this guy's hood of his car so no joke i droped my pants and i crapped a 8 incher it was huge and i got my 100 bucks.

It wasn't MY poop, but a sick fucker i was stationed with in the military ... He takes a shit that was HUGE , tries to flush it but the damn thig is literally bigger than the hole in the bottom of the toilet, now he claimed to be straight, but GOD DAMN, he calls us in to look at it, all proud, and the only thing that i can think while i'm standing there staring at this thing that's bigger around than my forearm (and i'm musclebound), is that this boy had to have been reamed in the ass by Bubba the booty bustin bandit, cause if I tried to pass something that large out me ass, for the rest of my life my farts would sound like an exhale with yer mouth wide open. I got a plunger and pushed the thing down the hole, cause it was stinkin up the damn room, and he got MAD cause he wanted a picture of it first, WHO WOULD BRAG ABOUT A TITANIC ASS LOG??? well, ok Crazy_cards would, You sick fuckers.

I'm "lactose intolerant." what that means is any time i eat ice cream or have cereal with milk, i can gaurantee a major diarhea session if i dont honk it first. One day i had cereal for breakfast, and had a large ice cream cone for lunch (i eat ice cream and ususally just pull a Karen Carpenter and spew it as soon as i'm done). This time i didn't spew out the ice cream, I was driving to Tucson to pick up my kids when the urge to reduce my anal pressure over rode my sphincter's ability to fight it. I slide to a stop on the side of the road, literally dive out the passenger's door into the desert sand, whipping my shorts to my ankles while the startled commuters whizzed past, I ass-blasted a Shaguro cactus with what looked like a tan stucco coat. Three waves of fluid and flecks followed to make a nice absract design. i wiped my ass on a McDonalds napkin and threw it into the cactus needles while people drove by honking. For five months, every time i drove by I could see my mixed media cactus artwork on display for the citizens of Arizona. I should have applied for a NEA grant and exibited it in a museum.

i was drinking a red slush puppy and when i went 2 da toilet the shit came out blue!!

I was on this "cleansing fast" one that's supposed to clear your stomach out of any junk. I didn't eat for a couple days so i wasn't shitting much, but suddenly i had an incredible urge to take a dump so i jetted to the bathroom, but it started coming out before i got there. No big deal, i thought, i'll just dump the underwear, but then i looked up close at the shit and it had A FUCKING WORM IN IT. The thing was about 6" long and about as thick as a pencil. The scarriest part was that IT MOVED WHEN I TOUCHED IT. That was definitely the scariest shit i've ever seen.

Once, I had several different color freez pops (orange, blue and red) and I dropped a baseball shaped orange blue red colored thing.

when i swallowed my ring and it came out through my poop.

the silhoette of Richard Nixon, not a crook but obviously full of shit!!!!

steaming and flowing, all the way down my stairs, after failing in my record-breaking attempt at surviving the effects of diarrhea for as long as possible.

green and bloody.

when i was little i ate a pound of cheese and when i tried to go it wouldn't come out! so i ran around the house screaming my head off!

I had just driven from Arizona to Galveston Texas. I hadn't slept or used the shitter in over 24 hours and i couldn't find a public shitter. I was at the beach with no one around, so i walked out into the water about three feet deep and dropped my drawers. After pushing out a log that would have built a cabin, I washed off my ass and while in the process brused my hand against something solid on the water. I figured it was my turd, but when I turned around to look, it was a two foot long Hammer Head shark, feasting away on my partially digested gas station burrittos and Big Macs. I was sure glad I wasn't peeing instead (true story).

red wine all night caused a black shitsnake wrapped around the bowl. its head stuck out of the water.

One day last month, I had tons of hot chile at a family picnic. I always get dyeria if i eat spicy food. so as you can imagine, it was harsh. I didn't even feel it coming. so as i got up to clear my plate, i felt something warm and slushy running down my leg. i looked down to inspect, there was a pile of green crap. you would never imagine what my family was saying after that. i wish i didn't wear a skirt that day.

While in college, one day I ate a half a pound of colby jack cheese. That's right the white and the orange all mottely together. The next day at the library i went in to take my daily constitutional. When I stood up, my poo was a perfect beige and tan rendition of the colby jack cheese.

When I was, like, 5 years old I ate a set of Pee-Wee Hermen Colorforms (you remember whose right?). Well, that night I went to the bathroom and shit Pee-Wee! It was histerical! It was like my shit was waving to me. My mom was laughing histerical. She also had the bright idea to take a picture of it! So now a picture of my Pee-Wee Herman Poo Poo is my family's pride and joy!!!!!

green on st patty's day

I was driving home from work, when i felt my guts rumble, I floored it home, leaving the truck door open i ran into the house, ripped my pants to my ankles and let out this little tiny fart and a pebble shit and i felt much better! pebble shits are the worst!

When I pushed really hard, thinking it was a huge poop, but it was a little thing. That hurt worst than the big ones!

I have had many disturbing situations relating to the topic of shit. From shitting on floors, in cups, in bags, in buckets, in dumpsters, in the ocean etc ... Green, yellow with chunks, corn, long. You name it, I've probably done it! But one time it was the craziest thiing. I had really bad diarhea. I was running to the tiolet every two minutes. No joke. So as I run back and fourth to the tiolet, I realized the only thing that was coming out of my asshole was what looked like pure water and little poppyseeds! I was basically pissing out my ass!!

Pliplets.

supi.

when i first tried the "new spicy cheetohs" i was hooked.... i had about 2 small bags of em, and it was wonderful! that night, i went to do my number two, and before my poop started to come out, butt juice started collecting around my rectal area and it was burning!!!! it was the most horrible feeling i've ever felt! i started pushing to get it over with, and i swear it was the most dense thing ever.... it fell in the pot while i was tearing up.... i got up to flush and when i looked in the pot, my poop was red... and i could also see flecks of the spices lingering around.... but everythings okay now... my body is immune to "spicy cheetohs".... ( you should try it somtime =0P )

This is the documentation of a true event. Nothing has been embellished and nothing was removed. One day I was surfing at the beach and I started to feel really really really sick so I rushed out of the ocean, ran up the beach, ran up the catwalk but with all my rushing I could run no father (no one was around) so I pulled my pants knee high and let lose. I felt a liquid explosion burst from my ass as it hurdled through the air and splattered all over a pine tree, the surrounding brush, and the asphalt of the path. When I turned to examine what the fuck was so eager to escape from my body I witness an unexplainable phenomenon. What was it you ask? It was white diarrhea. Strange wouldn't you say? And that's not all folks as I rushed to the bathroom I felt a seconded wave coming so I burst in the stall and felt the rage of a second, third, and forth wave rush out me as if my ass was the Hoover Dam and the flood gates had just been released. I don't remember what I ate the day before, but if I did I would have sued the person who sold it to me. That's all for now, until the next strange shit.

My dad had a poo and i swear (he called us over to see) it was in a spiral with about 3 swirls!!!! funniest thing ever!

Me and my friends were eating berries in the woods everyday and our poop was green for a week, how did I know my friends poop was green as well? Use your imagination. (Webmaster's Note: My imagination tells me that if you had to eat berries in the woods, you probably ended up eating your friends poop, too.)

I inadvertently swallowed the waxpaper on a butter pat. The next day, I laid a turd that was wrapped in a label reading "Grade A". And it was.

With my inability to digest sausage, it was pretty stupid to eat that entire sausage pizza. The next morning when I shit it out, the smell was so bad I had to vomit. With the liquid and undigested sausage still spurting from my ass, I was forced to puke in the shower. It took three flushes for the water to become clear again.

The most beautifully textured brown poop came out of my ass yesterday .It was 'chock full o' nuts,with a little corn for color, and it had the smell of DEATH!! I was so proud ... like a father showing off his newborn! When i wiped my dirty brown bung hole, the toilet paper ripped and my finger grazed the edge of my anus!! Of course I had to smell it !! EWWWW !!!! :o) :o)

it had a smell of cheese and a certain undescribable viscosity. it was a bit purple in colour and was exactly the shape of a havanna cigar. I had entered a picled egg eating contest the day before and I can only put it down to that.

The one I'm coughing up right now.

When I forgot to lift the lid ...

It was a hero to say the least ... so big it ripped my butt hole.When I finlly passed this piece of work, it was full of nuts, corn and mucous. Quite the beauty!!

The other day I must have lost ten pounds. It came out in one super long turd. Of course I had to look. It was all together and when I went to flush it, it clogged the whole system up.

I ate Godfather's Pizza from Mason City, Iowa and it made me poop out some real sticky icky icky oooo weee poop!

When I was in the second grade, I pooped a psychedelic design. It was mostly liquid. There was a circle with a six-pointed star in it. On the outside, there were several other six-pointed stars. When I came home I told my mom. And that's why it was the best day ever.

I had just eaten some greek food my poop was like strings and it had blue and yellow spots on it.

Dude I dropped the fucken titantic!!!

A log with an orange mohawk.

Once i shit blue.

A loud explosion, followed by a piece of shit the size of a baseball bat sticking out of the water like a Hawaiian island.

Sometimes when I defecate ... after a great night of RED wine drinking, my feces is the color of TAR ... the same kind you get on your feet on an oily beach. Do I need a new spleen or pancreaus or liver?? there's bile in that organ.

A greenish brown basketball that took 2 hours and 15 minutes to get out.

No one I tell this to believes me, but I swear on my mother's grave ... okay, so she's not dead, but it's true anyway! I had a nice dump one day and, as I love to do, I checked out my handiwork before I flushed. I was astonished at what I saw. The first turd curved like a horse shoe opening to the right. The second poop was shaped like a donut. The third turd was almost a closed circle. The fourth was more of a straight line. Now, if you were paying attention, my crump spelled, 'cool'. I am NOT lying! It was a shame to flush it.

Green water ... with corn balls.

It consisted of three distinct sections: black hard balls, orange-yellow semi soft poop with flecks of mucous, and green watery diarhea.